


And you wonder why you're still single

by CocotteJenn



Series: Warden Ana Surana, Champion Alwyn Hawke, Inquisitor Violette Surana (aka the Sad Mages worldstate) [12]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Carver +50 rivalry, Family, Gen, Hawke is an idiot, Humor, Implied Anders/Hawke - Freeform, Perfume, Set during Act 1, Strong Smells, Writing Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-06-28 16:17:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15710814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CocotteJenn/pseuds/CocotteJenn
Summary: (Tumblr prompt) Carver goes home after a long day only to discover that his brother has spent their hard earned money on perfume.





	And you wonder why you're still single

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr prompt for @no-id-no-person: "And you wonder why you're still single" for the pairing of my choice.

It had been a long day in Kirkwall. Long and tiring, with a damp weather and high temperatures. So Carver went home, hoping to catch a few hours of sleep before his brother decided to drag him along on another pointless adventure. He had barely unlocked the door when a strong pungent odor assaulted his senses. **  
**

“Maker! What is that smell?” Whatever it was, it had invaded the entire house. He looked around for his mother, or even Gamlen, hoping they could give him some kind of explanation as to why the house smelled like putrid fruit. But they were nowhere in sight, probably driven off by the stench themselves. The dog too seemed to be missing.

His brother’s voice echoed out of their shared bedroom. “I bought some scented oils on the market earlier today.” Of course,  _he_  was the one responsible. “What do you think?”

It was unbearable, that’s what he thought as he put a hand over his nose to cover at least part of the smell. The Orlesians had a word for this, Carver was sure of it. What was it again? Something that meant  _rotting jar_ …

“You spent our money - the money we need for the expedition - on perfume?” he fumed. Sometimes - alright  _most times_ , he really wanted to punch his brother square in the jaw.

“Relax, it was cheap. Practically a gift.”

“And because it was ‘ _practically a gift_ ’, you decided to spray the entire bottle on yourself?”

“We’ve been fighting people all day. I had to mask the scent of sweat, blood, and shit!” the man offered as an excuse.

“Why? Who are you even trying to impress? All our friends live in Lowtown, they’re used to smelling piss and shit all day long. Except for Aveline, I suppose. Though I doubt the barracks smell a whole lot better.” Carver raised an eyebrow, a teasing smile curling up his lips. “Wait a minute! Are you trying to impress Aveline?”

“No.” He snickered. “It’s far too late for that. She’s already seen me tied up naked upside-down to the Hanged Man’s sign.”

Carver rolled his eyes so far back it made his head hurt. “And you wonder why you’re still single.”

His brother took offense at the jab. “Hey! You’re still single too!”

“At least I don’t smell like I passed out at the Blooming Rose again!” He grumbled behind his hand.

“It only happened one time!”

Carver rubbed his temple and sighed, “You know what. I don’t even want to know anymore.” He needed to get out of there before being sick. Even with his nose covered, the air was too heavy with the sour fragrance to be tolerable.

“Where are you going?”

“Out.” The Hanged Man seemed like a good place to get some rest all of a sudden. It smelled of piss and vomit, sure, but it would still be better than this. “Those fumes are burning my eyes and giving me a headache.”

“Don’t forget we have to meet Anders by the Chantry at nightfall. Don’t be late!”


End file.
